Ode to the Road

I have been off my foot now for 2 weeks. I have had to pass on my 1/2 marathon. I have been feeling the loss of the race, but I am now feeling the loss of my daily dose of road time. I miss the running. So as a tribute to my run, I decided to post a very long article I wrote almost a year ago. But endure, you will finish it eventually....(enjoy my Ithaca friends!)

A Country Run

I stepped outdoors and breathed in the crisp morning air. Was I ever going to overcome this lack of motivation? As I mulled a bit over this question I began to set out on what I assumed would be another strenuous run where with each step taken brought regret for ever attempting to exert myself. So there I was ready to go, looking at the pavement wondering if I would ever be able to get the motion going and find that much needed rhythm, left foot, right foot, left foot.

I hesitantly set off, however in only an instant did I realize the day was positively beautiful. For the first time since we arrived in England the sky was blue and the birds were singing. It was the perfect running weather; for you start out feeling slightly chilled, but as you get on your way the cold soon feels refreshing. I actually found myself invigorated, wondering, was I actually going to enjoy myself this time? It has been many years since I last felt the overpowering need to go running. The kind of need where when your out running you are suddenly cognizant of everything around you and a sense of being alive sets you into your pace and at the end of it all you feel as though your ready to take on whatever lies in your path that day. Unfortunately these last few years, running has become something sporadic and a dread rather than an aspiration.

But today I was feeling something different as I ran. I felt lighter with each step, running in wonder at the beauty around me. I instantly thought of Ithaca, New York. For it was in Ithaca where I last felt this true love of running. It had been 3 years since I had lived in Ithaca! The scenery was quite similar, the squared out farmlands, the abundance of trees, the hedges along the streets. Oh the streets, my favorite part of running in Ithaca, the narrow and rarely driven on streets. The streets where at times the only thing that has been on them that morning was you and the occasional horse, (knowing this because of the horse manure I leaped over as I ran). Of all the parallels of course, what I found most similar was in fact, the abundance of hills. As I approached the steepest hill of this particular route I wondered if the feeling of dread was going to set in again, were all these reminiscent feelings I was having too good to be true? However, now as I look back on this moment I realize this was the most enjoyable and comical moment I experienced that day. Although this is somewhat hard to believe, a very steep hill, comical? Better yet, enjoyable? As I was struggling up the hill I found myself listening to my rapid breathing and my distressed heartbeat. So to focus off those things, which were making me all the more tired, I tried to focus on the sounds around me. Instantly and very loudly, I took notice of a herd of sheep, just over the hedge. Now to hear that many sheep say baa, baa, is quite laughable, at least it was to me at that moment. For there I was completely exhausted and looking like it I’m sure, and the bah bah's almost sounded as if they were mocking me, making fun of me. And as if I wasn't struggling enough to breathe, I broke out in hysterical laughter. Here I was in a new neighborhood, a new city, and even more substantial a new country, and feeling as though I had returned home again. Home again, to the evocative feelings that running was once again becoming intermingled with the very fibers of my existence.

Here in England there was nothing but beauty around me, and the nostalgia of running in such beauty made me feel alive almost free. Free from the stresses of life and the all-consuming insecurities we all carry with us.

Of course, without saying I returned home; now knowing that running wasn’t just a chore to be done, a way for me to regain my pre-pregnancy body. It wasn’t about getting those few minutes of alone time. I have relearned since this moment for me why I run and why I have reacquired this motivation. Whether I am running alone, or with my babies in the jogging stroller, or better yet, alongside my husband, I truly do feel alive, I feel a sense of purpose and being, and most importantly I feel gratitude.

So as not to put into minds that I never have a day of lacking in motivation or a day where with each step I jog my legs feel like 2 ton bricks, I still do; and at times like those I have to remind myself, why I do it. I am just so grateful it now only takes a few minutes to reacquaint myself with those feelings instead of a very long 4 years!