Another School Year

I am not sure what makes me feel more sad, the fact that my oldest child is now in 5th grade or that my baby boy is in kindergarten. Either way I feel as though time is slipping from my fingers and there is nothing I can do to tighten my grasp. I think my overall feeling today is that one day my life as a mother of young children will end. And that makes me sad. I am sure that life with teenagers who are independent, strong willed and striving to find their place in the world will have its own challenges and advantages but I still can't help but feel as though I am mourning. Mourning the loss of my babies that have now grown up.

As I dropped them off I thought that each of their responses fit perfectly with each of their personalities. Savannah was stalwart and brave, venturing into 5th grade with courage and ownership, as if she knew what to expect and this life challenge was going to be met head on. Madison was excited and positive. Nervousness was apparent but no negative emotion could squash the smile that reached from ear to ear. She felt confidence in her new skinny jeans and I have no doubts that excitement will pursue onward for weeks to come. Carson was hyper, happy and confident as he got up and dressed faster than anyone else. With his spider man backpack on there was no signs of hesitation or nervousness. He walked up ahead as we made our way into the school and was in the classroom before his daddy and I rounded the corner. But as soon as he caught a glimpse of the other students all excitement was lost and nervousness ensued, he quickly reached for my hand. But not about to be overrun by fear he let go of my hand and did what he knew he had to do. Without looking back he began what was to be his daily routine for the year and never once looked back up to find me after his hug goodbye.

Now its just Rylie and Emma. Together we will see the days out and I have learned as I have time and time again to enjoy and relish in every moment left with these two before they also are whisked away into their own academic adventures. I can only pray that they will be as brave, positive, and undaunted as their big siblings! Good luck kids in the year to come! I love you very much!